Look... before you make waste.

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Just Jokin'

Jokes & Snark

Dogloose recommends DJokeOfTheDay.com and IntoRehab.com

Doug Deitel's Laws

Written by: Doug Deitel
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 103

Observations on Human Nature

The Law of Trash
Trash expands or contracts to fit the space where it is permitted

Read more: Doug Deitel's Laws

Voodoo Insurance

Written by: Lou Zinnit
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 3293

Just when we thought it was safe to go out again... another threat rears its ugly head. Fortunately protection has arrived... Voodoo Insurance is finally available. Find out why you need it!

Read more: Voodoo Insurance

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Dick's Jokes

  • Dinner and a Show

    A guy bends his wife over the kitchen table and fucks her in the ass. When he's finished he asks: "Did you like that?"

    She tells him: "I'd have liked it a lot more if the kids were done eating."

     

  • I Got More Important Things To Do

    Joe gets a ticket to the Super Bowl from his company, but when he gets there, the seat is in the last row way back in the corner of the stadium.

    Halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat ten rows off the field, right on the fifty-yard line. He decides to take a chance, and makes his way around the security guards to the empty seat.

    As he sits down, Joe says to the guy sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anybody sitting here?"

    The guy says, "No."

    Joe says, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?"

    The guy says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't seen together since we got married in 1967."

    Joe says, "That's really sad. But couldn't you find anyone to take the seat? A friend, or a close relative?"

    The guy says, "No, they're all at the funeral."

  • That's Gratitude

    I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.

    But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.

  • Bad Habits Are Hard To Break

    Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."

    "What is she doing?", his buddy asks.

    "Waiting for me to get home."