Look... before you make waste.

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Just Jokin'

Jokes & Snark

Dogloose recommends DJokeOfTheDay.com and IntoRehab.com

Doug Deitel's Laws

Written by: Doug Deitel
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 762

Observations on Human Nature

The Law of Trash
Trash expands or contracts to fit the space where it is permitted

Read more: Doug Deitel's Laws

Voodoo Insurance

Written by: Lou Zinnit
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 4017

Just when we thought it was safe to go out again... another threat rears its ugly head. Fortunately protection has arrived... Voodoo Insurance is finally available. Find out why you need it!

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Dick's Jokes

  • After I'm Gone

    I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

    "I do"

    And that's when the fight started...

  • From Down Under

    A 40-year old woman never married because she only wanted a man who had never been with a woman sexually. And as you might imagine she searched for years but never could find one. So she finally tried one of those International dating sites and sure enough met a man who had lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. After a long-distance online courtship, they finally decided to marry.

    On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare herself for the long awaited moment. When she walks back into the bedroom she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, totally naked, and he has all the furniture piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks.

    "I’ve never been with a woman," he tells her. "But if it’s anything like fucking a kangaroo I’m gonna need all the room I can get!"

  • English Class Assignment

    The teacher asked the class to use the word indefinitely in a sentence?

    Little Johnny raised his hand and said: "When your balls are slapping on the cheeks of her ass, you're in definitely."

  • One Way To Drive Home The Point

    A guy gets on a bus sits down next to a very attractive nun. Totally enamored he boldly asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally the nun says no and gets off at the next stop. The guy goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of any way he might be able to have sex with the nun.

    "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

    So the guy figures he would give it a try. He dresses up in his best God costume and hides out in the cemetery. At eight he sees the nun arrive. Just as she starts to pray he jumps out to confront her as God.

    "Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The guy tells her she must first have sex with him to prove her faith. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, as he ravages her from behind. When it's over, the guy suddenly pulls off his God disguise and shouts: "Haha! I'm the man from the bus!"

    "Haha!" the nun says back to him while pulling her costume off, "I'm the bus driver!"