Just Jokin'

Jokes & Snark

Dogloose recommends DJokeOfTheDay.com and IntoRehab.com

: Written by: dogloose; Category: Just Jokin'; Created: 07 July 2011; Hits: 6696

Pictures shot from a moving car of the famous Sam Houston Statue on I-45 in Huntsville, Texas. If you would like to contribute a picture please contact the dog!

: Written by: dogloose; Category: Just Jokin'; Created: 02 May 2011; Hits: 6776

I'm not sure of the significance of killing one lonely old man (he says spitting on the floor)...

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Dick's Jokes

Promise Kept

A woman at the Pearly Gates asks St. Peter, "Is my husband here? My name is Johnson." St. Peter says, "Well, that's not enough information."

She says, "OK... his name is Dick Johnson and he told me that after he died, if I was ever unfaithful, he'd roll over in his grave."

St. Peter says, "Oh .. you mean Pinwheel Johnson!"
On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."
A New Accessory

My son gets behind the wheel of the car to take his first driving lesson. As mom gets in the passenger side he rolls down the window and asks: "Does this car have passenger side air bags?"

I said, "It does now."

And that's when the fight started...
The New Pet

A guy is just miserable. So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."

Just Jokin'

Jokes & Snark

Sam Houston Statue From A Car

On Bin Laden's Timely Demise...

Dick's Jokes