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Just Jokin'

Jokes & Snark

Dogloose recommends DJokeOfTheDay.com and IntoRehab.com

The skin-ny On Presidential Election Possibilities

Written by: dogloose
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 6586

In response to an article in the Boston Herald suggesting the possibility that the newly elected Senator from Massachusetts could one day vie for the office of president, James Taranto in "Best of the Web" humorously wrote:

Read more: The skin-ny On Presidential Election Possibilities

Hold That, Tiger!

Written by: dogloose
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 4413

His adoring public asks: "Is it really true that Tiger would?

Well... looks like all that mattered was Tiger's wood!

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Dick's Jokes

  • Hey Ma How 'Bout Some Cookies?

    One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigarette. So Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke one of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

    The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied.

    The following day, Little Johnny was in the kitchen eating some cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny told him, "Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!"

  • Best Way To Go

    When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.

    Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.

  • He Should Have Done The TIme

    A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied.

    "Well, I would have been released tonight."

    And that's when the fight started...

  • I Hope His Prayers Are Answered

    A man's been praying at The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem for 20 years. One day he's being interviewed. The reporter says, "You've been praying at The Wailing Wall for 20 years?" The man says, "Absolutely, 20 years. In the morning when I get up, I pray there should be peace in the world. In the afternoon I pray that misery and hunger should be eliminated. And at night I pray that the Israelis and the Palestinians should live together in harmony."

    The reporter says, "Well, those are all very nice thoughts. Tell me, how does it feel?"

    The man says, "It's like talking to a fucking wall."