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Just Jokin'

Jokes & Snark

Dogloose recommends DJokeOfTheDay.com and IntoRehab.com

The skin-ny On Presidential Election Possibilities

Written by: dogloose
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 7038

In response to an article in the Boston Herald suggesting the possibility that the newly elected Senator from Massachusetts could one day vie for the office of president, James Taranto in "Best of the Web" humorously wrote:

Read more: The skin-ny On Presidential Election Possibilities

Hold That, Tiger!

Written by: dogloose
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 4849

His adoring public asks: "Is it really true that Tiger would?

Well... looks like all that mattered was Tiger's wood!

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Dick's Jokes

  • No Rest For This Piece

    A guy walks into a whorehouse looking for some action. He goes up to the madame and asks,"Hey, can I get a piece from one of your fine ladies?"

    "Sorry sir," the madame responds, "but, we're all full." "Aw, please." he begs, "I'm super horny and I really need some poontang!"

    The madame thinks for a moment then answers, "Well, there is one girl left but when you go meet her you have to wear this black condom." "Whatever," the guy shrugs and runs upstairs.

    A few hours later he comes back down and says, "Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black condom?"

    The madame answered, "Out of respect for the dead."

  • Things Are Tough All Over

    Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.

    Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.

  • Mother-In-Law's Gift

    Last year, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

    This year I didn't buy her anything..

    When my wife asked me why I didn't buy her mother a gift this year I told her "Hey, she never used the gift I bought her last year!"

    And that's when the fight started...

  • At Least Take A Lunch Break

    A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. "Would you maybe like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee?" He declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "It’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

    At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires. He declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "it’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

    Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She tells hum "I’ll go to the store and buy you whatever you want. Maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe a pizza or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple of minutes?" And once again he declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "it’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

    "Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I’m fuckin' starving."