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Just Jokin'

Jokes & Snark

Dogloose recommends DJokeOfTheDay.com and IntoRehab.com

The skin-ny On Presidential Election Possibilities

Written by: dogloose
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 7033

In response to an article in the Boston Herald suggesting the possibility that the newly elected Senator from Massachusetts could one day vie for the office of president, James Taranto in "Best of the Web" humorously wrote:

Read more: The skin-ny On Presidential Election Possibilities

Hold That, Tiger!

Written by: dogloose
Category: Just Jokin'
Hits: 4838

His adoring public asks: "Is it really true that Tiger would?

Well... looks like all that mattered was Tiger's wood!

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Dick's Jokes

  • Ask And You Shall Receive

    Every day a homeless drunk watches a guy stop and whisper to every chick that walks by. Sometimes the girl walks away a little confused. Sometimes the girl smiles, grabs the guy by the arm and they walk off to the motel across the street.

    One day the homeless guy walks over and asks: "Hey buddy, what are you sayin' to those girls to get all that action?" The guy tells him: "I take the simple, direct approach. I first whisper 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' If the girl smiles and says sure, I know I've scored. But if she's offended I quickly repeat 'Particularly nasty weather' like she didn't hear me right and then just move on. Works every time!"

    The drunk thinks what a great idea and decides to try it himself. Waiting on the corner he stumbles over to the first girl that walks by and shouts at her: "Shove a feather up your ass?" The girl looks totally shocked. So heeding his lesson he quickly covers by saying: "It's fucking raining."

  • UFO Spotted

    Want to see flying saucers?

    Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.

  • A Man's Man

    What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?

    Focused.

  • Celebrate Good Times, Come On.

    A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks, “Do you know her?”

    “Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

    “My God!” says the wife, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long.”