His adoring public asks: "Is it really true that Tiger would?
Well... looks like all that mattered was Tiger's wood!
Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?
Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.
An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."
I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."
Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"
"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."
I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"
I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"
And that's when the fight started...
